I'd like to be a plump blonde woman in her thirties, wearing a bunny suit and drinking like a fish.
I'd like to stuff myself with croissants in the morning and eat rancid cheese at midnight.
I'd like to wear granny panties and buy cheap souvenirs that I trip on around the house.
I'd like to laugh after reading the Bell Jar.
I'd like to have see-through shirts.
I'd like to eat turkey curry.
I'd like to fantasize about strange men that are complete and total fuckwits.
I'd like to be a terrible public speaker.
I'd like to smoke while I'm waxing my legs.
I'd like to cook atrocious food.
I'd like to run naked in a paddling pool.
Gotta love Bridget Jones. She's the best role model a girl could have.
